Have you ever noticed how leading others can sometimes feel like being on a merry-go-round?

Problem: To lead others effectively, we must be able to influence them. To influence them, we must be willing to engage meaningfully with them. If, however, we’re sidestepping meaningful engagement to avoid having to deal with challenging reflections of who we believe ourselves to be, we will invariably fall prey to either attacking them or we’ll paralyze ourselves into inaction. This inner conflict is where excuses and blame are born. Believing the object of our angst (i.e., our employees) to be the actual problem, we unwittingly turn ourselves into victims and project our unhealed psychoemotional wounds onto them. This delusion then confirms our hidden belief that we are powerless, which, once again, compels us to avoid them, freeze, or attack them … and round and round we go.
Solution: Get off the merry-go-round as soon as humanly possible. In other words, if you’re not already doing it, start interacting more meaningfully with those who report to you. Even if you believe you’re not very good at it, your awkward efforts can do a lot of heavy lifting. If you’ve surrounded yourself with the right kind of people, they’ll reach out to help steady you when you begin to wobble, just as you’re hopefully inclined to do for them. This is where true magic begins to happen, a true trust fall.